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\nA BPD diagnosis requires the presence of any five of nine symptoms. Let\u2019s explore the variables:<\/p>\n
\nA BPD diagnosis requires the presence of any five of nine symptoms. Let\u2019s explore the variables:<\/p>\n
Efforts to Avoid Abandonment<\/b>. Rejection or abandonment, whether it is real or subjectively perceived, can be intensely painful for a person with BPD (pwBPD). The person might go to extreme lengths to avoid it: this could take the form of clinginess (like frantic people-pleasing) or proactive withdrawal (\u201cYou can\u2019t fire me\u2013I quit!\u201d).<\/p>\n
Unstable and Intense Relationships<\/b>. The usual pattern is for the pwBPD\u2019s feelings to oscillate between extremes of \u201cidealization\u201d and \u201cdevaluation.\u201d Here is how I sometimes experience those extremes:<\/p>\n Unstable Self-image<\/b>. Even without BPD, figuring out \u201cwho you are\u201d can be a herculean task. A pwBPD may feel like they don\u2019t know what they want, what they value, or what would make them happy. This person may find identity in others, like a romantic partner, best friend, or role model.\u00a0I, personally, could be found listening to Dead Kennedys and dressing like a punk when I was dating one.\u00a0As soon as we broke up, I stopped listening to that kind of music and wearing those kinds of clothes.<\/p>\n Self-injury<\/b>. Recurrent self-mutilation or suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats.<\/p>\n Impulsivity<\/b>. In two (or more) areas that are potentially self-damaging, such as shopping, gambling, sex, substance use, reckless driving, or binge-eating.<\/p>\n Unstable Mood<\/b>. This symptom is the reason that BPD is often confused with bipolar disorder. The difference? BPD \u201cmood swings\u201d last minutes or hours (sometimes days) while bipolar \u201cmood swings\u201d last days or weeks (sometimes months).<\/p>\n Feeling Empty<\/b>. IYKYK.<\/p>\n Intense Anger<\/b>. The symptom underlies the oft-portrayed stereotype of pwBPD: throwing tantrums, desks, etc. I would be lying if I said that I hadn\u2019t smashed a mug or two, but more often than not, my anger is directed internally: heart-pounding, stomach-twisting, and exhaustion-inducing. Anger in pwBPD is not different from that in the general population in the sense that it usually arises to mask a different, more difficult emotion like sadness or fear.<\/p>\n Paranoia or Dissociation<\/b>. This is usually transient, stress-related, and severe when it arises.<\/p>\n There can be 256 different combinations of BPD symptoms. Though there are common threads, BPD is a unique experience for every individual.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n\n